Real love is not found in this material world. Attempts to love and be loved mostly end up in frustration.
Long Island Doctor To Estranged Wife: Give Me My Kidney Back Or $1.5M
Richard Batista can live with his broken heart. He just can't bear his cheating wife living with his healthy kidney.
The Long Island doctor wants the one-time love of his life to pay $1.5 million for the organ he bestowed on her eight years ago in a gift meant to save her life and their foundering marriage.
"There's no deeper pain you can ever express than to be betrayed by the person you devoted your life to," Batista told reporters in Garden City Wednesday.
"I saved her life. But the pain is unbearable."
Batista charged his wife, Dawnell, repaid his gesture by first sleeping with her physical therapist - and then denying him access to their three kids in an increasingly bitter divorce.
Adding to his anguish, Batista insists his decision to donate his kidney in 2001 was in part a failed effort to rescue their troubled relationship.
"My first priority was to save her life," the 49-year-old doctor said. "The second bonus was to turn our marriage around."
Dawnell Batista survived. Their marriage lasted just another four years, with the wife filing for divorce in July 2005.
The once-happy pair met two decades ago when he was a resident and she a training nurse at North Shore Hospital.
They were married in August 1990, celebrating with a lavish Long Island reception, and were soon living in a $1 million Massapequa home.
The couple shared the joy of three daughters, but Dawnell was battling kidney failure and the couple's relationship turned shaky.
Her husband - a surgeon at Nassau University Medical Center - injected her three times a week with medication as part of her health care regime.
Dawnell's health continued to deteriorate. After two transplants failed, her husband volunteered to donate one of his kidneys - and discovered he was a match, a 1-in-700,000 shot.
"I was the first and only one to step to the plate," the doctor recalled. Without his donation, Dawnell faced a long wait: There are 6,748 people awaiting kidneys in New York State, the New York Organ Donor Network says.
Successful surgery followed at a Minnesota hospital on June 28, 2001. Batista said he was looking forward to happier times with his now-healthy bride - but his hopes proved futile.
"Nothing changed," he said.
Dawnell Batista viewed the kidney as a new lease on life, too. She returned to school to earn a master's degree in nursing, and took up karate, her husband said.
After an injury suffered while trying to earn her black belt, she began physical therapy - which evolved into an affair with her therapist, Batista said.
"It put a hole in my heart that still exists," Batista said of his wife's disloyalty. "To this day, I'm a man of pride. To be betrayed that way, humiliated - I can't even began to say."
Dawnell Batista was not at her home Wednesday. Her lawyer did not return a call for comment.
Batista said the ongoing ugliness began on day one of their divorce.
"She slapped me with divorce papers when I was in surgery trying to save another person's life," he fumed.
The case was apparently the first of its kind in New York State. Julia Rivera of the New York Organ Donor Network said she never heard of anything similar.
"This is extraordinary," the spokeswoman said.
Batista insisted his cash-for-kidney claim was a direct result of his wife's behavior. He said he hasn't seen his three daughters - ages 14, 11 and 8 - in months.
"This is my last resort," Batista said. "I didn't want to be in the public eye."
Despite the animosity, Batista insisted he would donate the kidney all over again to his hopefully soon-to-be-ex. He fondly recalls a visit to her room on the day after surgery.
"There was no greater feeling on this planet," he said. "As God is my witness, I felt as if I could put my arm around Jesus Christ. I was walking on a cloud."
Average couple argues 2,455 times a year
ANI | May 21, 2011
A new survey has discovered that the average couple bickers 2,455 times a year - equal to almost seven times a day.
Researchers found that the biggest single reason for a tiff is not listening to what the other half is saying, which is responsible for around 112 cross exchanges a year, followed by money worries, spending issues and laziness around the house, reports the Sun .
Annoyance about over-spending, especially on impulsive or unnecessary purchases, leads to 109 disputes - with money in general being the cause of a further 108.
Laziness caused 105 outbursts while snoring provoked 102.
What to eat for dinner leads to 92 barneys a year - and 80 tiffs are about a partner walking mud into the house.
Driving too fast, walking past items that need taking upstairs and what to watch on television are the cause of conflict more than once a week.
Sex - particularly a lack of it or the timing - also causes 88 bust-ups a year.
The survey also showed the average couple will argue about disciplining the children 88 times, and have a further 79 disputes about spoiling them.
The figures were revealed in a study of 3,000 people, either married or in relationships, by esure home insurance.
"Bickering on a daily basis is all part of being in a normal, healthy relationship. The normal co-habiting couple will have to put up with each other's daily annoyances - even if they can prove to be very irritating," said a spokeswoman.
Battered Britain: How 19,000 women a year are forced from their homes by abusive partners
By Julian Gavaghan, Published : 12 April 2012
More than 18,000 women who were the victims of domestic violence fled their homes and sought state help in just one year, shocking new research revealed today.
And more than half the women, aged from just 15 to 88, took children with them in their 'forced migration' to escape abuse at the hands of their violent partners.
Four per cent of the 18,812 victims were disabled and a further four per cent had mental health needs. One in ten suffered from an addiction.
'Forced migration': The true scale of women fleeing domestic abuse (file picture)
The previously hidden scale of abuse was revealed on the same day that another study found that 40 per cent of groups working with abuse victims have had their staff or services cut in the past year.
The first study, about abuse migration, was carried out by London Metropolitan University using the Government’s own statistics and will be presented to the British Sociological Conference today.
It provides detail about how far vulnerable women are willing to travel to escape their tormentors.
The average victim sought refuge 20 miles away. Those with children tended to travel further, the figures from all 354 local authorities in the UK revealed.
Some had travelled over 400 miles from Scotland. Only 46 per cent of the journeys were within the same district.
Janet Bowstead, of London Metropolitan University, examined the journeys made by every woman seeking temporary housing in women's refuges or hostels, or help from housing support teams, after suffering abuse.
She discovered women tended to travel to the same type of area as the one they had escaped from, whether it was rural, deprived, urban or wealthy - although poorer areas saw a higher number of women leaving and arriving.
She said: ‘Overall, therefore, a process of spatial churn is identified across the country, with the thousands of individual journeys tending to cancel each other out on the national scale.
‘Whilst tens of thousands of women and children are forced to migrate due to domestic violence within the UK every year, it is a migration that does not look like a migration because it is not a net migration on the regional or national scale.
Damaged upbringing: Half the women who fled took their children with them
‘Overall, this forced migration has no strong net flows, and most local authorities experienced similar numbers of women arriving and leaving due to domestic violence each year.’
She is now calling for the statistics to continue to be kept, and for women not to lose rights to social housing if they flee from one council area to another.
The PhD research student added: ‘Women leave their local authority because they are forced to, and the large number of short migration journeys and journeys of residential mobility within a local authority suggests that if women can stay local they tend to do so.
‘It should not necessarily follow from that initial force from the perpetrator that they should also be forced to lose their housing tenure rights, and their service support, because of crossing an administrative boundary.
‘However, a more seamless provision would require greater cooperation between local authorities, and a more robust national overview.
‘Such a national responsibility can also be argued for in terms of a governmental responsibility to protect the rights of and provide protection for women who are forced to migrate.’
The second study, about cuts to services, was conducted by the University of Worcester. It gathered details from 37 organisations across Britain.
Yvette Cooper, the Shadow Minister for Women and Equalities, said the research showed the Coalition’s current approach was not working.
‘The Government’s approach to domestic violence is irresponsible and ultimately dangerous,’ she told The Independent.
‘Ministers need to commission an urgent audit to assess the impact on women’s safety.’
Average couple has 135 rows a year
Thursday, January 07, 2010 by ANI
London, Jan 7 (ANI): An average couple has 135 tiffs a year, a new UK study has found.
According to the survey by Esure home insurance, couples spend 40 minutes a day on average arguing about household chores.
And the biggest cause of domestic dispute is leaving clothes strewn around the house, the study of 1,000 men and women found.
Almost a third of the quizzed admitted using their work as an excuse for not doing household chores, reports The Daily Express.
Mike Pickard, of esure home insurance, said: “Forgetting to take the rubbish out or making a shoddy DIY attempt may not seem like serious crimes but as the research shows, domestic chores and household responsibilities can cause arguments in even the most stable of relationships. More importantly, putting off home improvements, not fixing broken or faulty appliances, trying to conceal damage or spillages and leaving DIY jobs half-finished or poorly completed could all turn into hazards around the home and result in hefty bills and even more rowing.” (ANI)
Kim Kardashian files for divorce - after 72 days
November 1, 2011
Reality TV star Kim Kardashian is divorcing her husband after only 72 days of marriage.
Just 72 days after her star-studded, made-for-TV wedding, reality starlet Kim Kardashian has filed for divorce from pro basketball player Kris Humphries, citing irreconcilable differences.
"I hope everyone understands this was not an easy decision," said the Keeping Up With the Kardashians star in a statement. "I had hoped this marriage was forever but sometimes things don't work out as planned."
The filing in Los Angeles County Superior Court provided few details, other than to state the couple have a prenuptial agreement that will dictate how they divide up their assets.
Kardashian is asking that both sides pay their own lawyers' costs and that a judge terminate Humphries's rights to spousal support.
Kardashian, 31, and Humphries, 26, married on August 20 at a lavish private estate near Santa Barbara, California.
The couple reportedly made $US15 million from the nuptials. The couple could also earn a fortune from telling the story of their divorce, Forbes reports.
It was the first marriage for Humphries, who last played for the NBA's New Jersey Nets, and the second for Kardashian, who was married to music producer Damon Thomas from 2000 to 2004.
Kardashian's sisters and TV co-stars Kourtney Kardashian, 32, and Khloe Kardashian, 27, served as co-maids of honour.
Kim Kardashian and Humphries began dating late last year and announced their engagement in May. He proposed on bended knee with a 20.5-carat ring by spelling out "Will you marry me?" in rose petals.
The couple's marriage was the subject of a two-part special on E! Entertainment Television, which televises Kardashian's show, which follows the model and her family.
Court filings show that Kardashian signed the petition on Sunday.
Kardashian said she and Humphries "remain friends and wish each other the best".
Kim and Khloe were due to be in Sydney this week to launch their handbag range at David Jones.
Kourtney Kardashian tweeted: "Our sister is going through a difficult time but we're a close family and are sticking together like always".
The most recent tweet from Kim Kardashian was a promotion for the opening of the sisters' new store in the US.
The divorce announcement comes after news that Humphries was the victim of a fraudulent investment scheme he was talked into by one of the couple's wedding guests, E! Online reported.
He reportedly lost hundreds of thousands of dollars in the scam by Andrey Hicks, a money manager who allegedly urged people to invest in a billion-dollar hedge fund.
But the fund was a fake and the Securities and Exchange Commission alleges Hicks lied when he told investors he had degrees from Harvard University and worked for Barclays Capital.
Other short celebrity unions
Britney Spears and Jason Alexander - 55 hours
The pair, who were just 22 when they tied the knot in 2004 in Las Vegas, annulled the marriage after 55 hours.
Cher and Greg Allman - nine days
Singer Cher's marriage to musician Greg Allman lasted just nine days. They took his Learjet and flew to Las Vegas to get married - just three days after Cher's divorce from Sonny Bono was finalised.
Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney - four months
Actor Renee Zellweger and country music star Kenny Chesney married in a small ceremony on the island of St John in the US Virgin Islands in 2005.
After just four months, she filed for an annulment, listing "fraud" as the reason for the break-up.
Jennifer Lopez and Chris Judd - eight months
Entertainer Jennifer Lopez married dancer Cris Judd in 2002, but they separated after just eight months. It was Lopez's second marriage after a one-year union to Cuban-born waiter Ojani Noa in the 1990s.
Businessman to have cosmetic surgery to heal horrific wounds after two years of abuse by his 5ft 1ins girlfriend
• Ian McNicholl had bleach sprayed in his eyes and had lit cigarettes placed up his nose
• His arm was also scolded with an iron and he suffered attacks involving hammers and metal bars
• Girlfriend was jailed for seven years for GBH
By CHRIS SLACK, The Daily Mail
24th January 2012
A businessman who was beaten so badly by his 5ft 1ins girlfriend that he almost lost his arm is to have cosmetic surgery to heal his horrific scars.
Ian McNicholl, 49, from Hull, suffered two years of abuse at the hands of Michelle Williamson, including one attack where she sprayed bleach in his eyes.
He also suffered fractures to his skull, cheekbones, and nose, three cracked ribs and horrific burns on his arm from an iron at the hands of his ex-girlfriend.
Williamson, who is now serving a seven-year jail sentence for causing grievous bodily harm, also lit cigarettes and shoved them up her partner’s nose after falsely accusing him of having an affair.
On one occasion, she also poured two kettles full of boiling water over him - and even attacked him with a vacuum cleaner.
Ian, who is now preparing for the surgery, said: 'It was between Christmas and New Year (in 2006) when she first accused me of having an affair with one of her friends.
'This was the first time she lashed out. She punched me in the face and I had a black eye.'
Williamson begged him for forgiveness, saying it was just a one off and a soon moved into his flat in Grimsby.
However a few weeks later she launched another attack with the vacuum cleaner.
Ian recalled: 'She began ranting and raving about previous partners of mine.
'Then, all of a sudden, she switched the vacuum cleaner off, grabbed the nozzle and whacked me across the face with it. I could feel my cheek split.'
'I felt as though I couldn’t walk away, because she told me she had family who were involved in organised crime who would kill me if I left her.'
This was the first of many outbursts of domestic violence from the then 34-year-old and the attacks got progressively worse.
His worst ordeal came when Williamson poured a kettle full of boiling water into his lap and, while he was screaming in agony, she reboiled the kettle and poured it over him again.
He continued: 'She would show off my injuries to her friends.
'I felt as though I couldn’t walk away, because she told me she had family who were involved in organised crime who would kill me if I left her. I felt I was trading with my life.
I was brought up well and taught never to hit a woman - and I didn’t lay a finger on her.'
The night before Michelle’s arrest, Ian endured an attack that lasted almost seven hours, where he was beaten with a metal bar and his body smashed in places with a claw hammer.
An anonymous phone call tipped off the police, who took Ian to Hull Royal Infirmary and arrested Michelle.
Although the violence had come to an end, Ian didn’t realise the aftermath would be just as bad.
He woke up the following day to find himself in a night shelter for the homeless, wearing his bloodstained clothes from the day before.
He said: 'Michelle had taken control of my finances and run up lots of debt. I didn’t have any money and didn’t know where to go or what to do.
'I was petrified walking the streets of Hull, as I was paranoid her brothers were going to come and kill me. As it turns out, they didn’t exist, but I didn’t know that at the time.'
'The massive problem is that men are not seen as victims. We need a gender neutral awareness campaign, or even a male-specific one.'
After a phone call to the Salvation Army, he was given accommodation at William Booth Life House, where he stayed for 18 months, and he received psychological help and support from The Men’s Helpline.
No, Ian has dedicated his life to helping the homeless - being appointed vice-chairman of Hull’s Homelessness Focus Group.
He added: 'I can completely understand why some men will feel embarrassed speaking out - men generally don’t like talking about their feelings.
'But the bigger issue is that lots of men don’t know where to go for help and there’s a lot of gender bias.
'The massive problem is that men are not seen as victims. We need a gender neutral awareness campaign, or even a male-specific one.'
Despite his experience, Ian isn’t put off having a relationship again.
'It’s going to be difficult when I meet someone who doesn’t know what I’ve been through,' said Ian.
'They will no doubt ask about my scars, and I’m not going to lie. My fear is that they will wonder what I did to deserve it.'